Submit your application on DextersWeb

With crime rates falling all over the country, worthy targets are hard to come by in Dexter's home town of Miami. To expand his web, Dexter, the charismatic and unusually lucky vigilante who kills those who deserve it, is now accepting online applications. DextersWeb.com lets you submit your own favorite vermin targets for consideration and "implementation" by Dexter. In the pilot phase, the new DextersWeb.com site will only be accepting targets located in the United States (although the applicants may reside in a different country). While this democratizes the selection process, the application would still need to be solid on facts and have compelling reasons for picking the despicable target. They would need to follow the same standards of undeniable guilt that Dexter so religiously pursues. The applications will be vetted for authentic targets -- so submitting your neighbor's name will immediately raise a red flag and permanently ban you from the site.

Dexter will still retain ultimate decision-making power, and applicants are not allowed to interfere once the "implementation" begins. Dexter admitted recently that strictly adhering to Harry's second rule of conduct ("Never kill an innocent") would be exponentially harder with the new globalized process, but he was confident that no innocent would be harmed in this process. Expenses for travel and general reconnaissance of said target would need to be mailed separately once the application is approved. Additionally, the security model of the site is modeled after WikiLeaks which ensures the protection of anonymous sources.

In a recent interview on the launch of the DextersWeb.com website, Dexter said, "I'm always struggling to find high-quality targets in my limited geographical area, so I had this epiphany that I could simply crowdsource this formidable task. However, I still would need to perform a thorough quality check. After all, most of the innocents imprisoned illegally in Guantanamo were ratted out by their neighbors for a sizable bounty -- to settle personal disputes. So one has to be careful. I have to follow Harry's code ("Never kill an innocent") at all times, or things could get ugly."

When asked if he had any independent plans for Wall Street, Dexter declined to reveal any details regarding possible future targets, but he admitted that Wall Street had an inexhaustible supply of targets which would take significant amount of resources and time. Dexter, however, promised that he would adhere to a rigorous series of ethics and procedures unlike those assholes on Wall Street.

Dexter also indicated in a recent blog post that the "Dark Passenger" is fairly happy with the way things are going so far with DextersWeb.com. However, Dexter acknowledged that there were still some thorny ethical issues regarding armchair, proxy vigilantism which may not be resolved anytime soon. Liability in the case of botched operations was another pesky issue that would need to be looked at more closely, Dexter indicated.

When asked if he was overreaching in taking on responsibilities traditionally associated with God, Dexter reportedly quoted William Cowper:

I am the monarch of all I survey,
My right there is none to dispute;
From the center all round to the sea,
I am lord of the fowl and the brute.

System S

Create a exploitative system (call it S). Have the (your) media heap lavish praise on it. Then rebuke anyone who disagrees with S as anti-S.

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone disagrees with S, label them as mentally ill. Create a new mental disorder in the DSM.

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone criticizes S, marginalize them, and make them suffer by demanding austerity.

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone disagrees with S, indoctrinate them, and reward them with the task of managing S.

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone disagrees with S, insist that an alternative be available in 24 hours.

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone disagrees with S, call it class warfare

Create an exploitative system (call it S). If anyone disagrees with S, and all else fails, smash their head with a truncheon.

War Criminal Logic

War Criminal Logic #10: "Look, it’s better than Dresden."

War Criminal Logic #9: "We need to look forward as opposed to looking backwards."

War Criminal Logic #8: "We have a moral responsibility to act."

War Criminal Logic #7: "Failure to act will carry a far greater price."

War Criminal Logic #6: "We're only protecting our interests in the region."

War Criminal Logic #5: "We possess an excess of righteousness and disinterested benevolence."

War Criminal Logic #4: "We do not seek to expand the reach of our institutions by force, subversion or repression."

War Criminal Logic #3: "We represent an idealistic New World bent on ending inhumanity."

War Criminal Logic #2: "If we're not part of the Peace Process, then it's not a Peace Process."

War Criminal Logic #1: "We don't commit war crimes, only others do."